Doomy Dooms of Doom? – 30%
ParabolaX, September 14th, 2011
Ilike slow music, and doom metal by extension, and there are plenty who do as well. Reverend Bizarre is made of three guys who are the same type of people. To anyone who has even heard ten seconds of their debut, In the Rectory of the Bizarre Reverend, their attempt to be the doomiest doom metal that the world has even heard is apparent.
It has the hallmarks of doom metal, from slow and crushing riffs that just shit on your day to the somewhat overdone epic male vocals. The other instruments don’t feel out of place either. On the surface, it’s pretty damn doomy. Then I listen to it.
Reverend Bizarre is doom metal. They are not good doom metal.
I’ll go back to my like for slow music. I listen to some doom metal, some drone, some slow ambient, maybe just anything slow I can chill to. However, if a band chooses to be slow, they have a hefty price to pay if they want to be anywhere close to listenable: atmosphere. Yes, some bands do it wonderfully, such as Jesu, or (at times) Sunn O))). Even Burzum’s ambient output uses its minimalism and near-standstill pace to its advantage, evoking some sort of feeling of Norse history or just plain bleakness that gets me thinking. This review is not about Burzum, though, it’s about Reverend Bizarre. These bizarre clergymen have none of that atmosphere.
And no, “slow” does not count as an atmosphere.
The feeling I get when listening to these tracks is one of apathy, to be honest, though mixed with the dread of how I’m spending over an hour of my life listening to rather pointless doom metal. The vocals try their hardest, their hardest to sound mournful or emotional, but it fails to really bring much feeling to the music, instead opting to drone on in a slightly-whiny, quasi-epic baritone sort of way. The guitars, while having a very nice tone, play lots of ultra-slow riffs with not much else behind them. I can tell, by the lyrics at the least, that the intended result was a package of the ultimate manifestation of doom metal, putting epic tales to music. The lyrics are quite epic, greatly written stories of bleakness, religion, biblical tales, and despair. I’m jealous of their skill in the lyrics department. They don’t have the music to support it, remembering the somber pace that would suit a good deal of those themes, but failing to conjure up the atmosphere of badass reverends or a flight out of Sodom. Just that damned slow guitar and vocals carried on way too long, and for at least 10 minutes most of the time.
Perhaps what upsets me the most is that Reverend Bizarre does have talent. They can write good songs, or at least good parts to songs. “In the Rectory” and “Sodoma Sunrise” have their own little sections of deviation, with the band going midpaced, of all things! While I wouldn’t call the faster paces the best doom metal I’ve heard, I certainly would not mind an album composed mainly of those. While the atmosphere is still somewhat lacking, perhaps the rocking feel of them is a good enough exchange, as well as some nice psychedelic, Electric Wizard-esque guitar leads during “Sodoma Sunrise”. They can even carry it on for an entire 5 minute song, the insanely catchy “Doomsower.” It’s repetitive, and that is a bit to its detriment, but Reverend Bizarre shows the competency to write a whole song that can keep a listener engaged. Their amazing guitar tone, this time with decent riffs! Vocals that don’t drone aimlessly! What a miracle!
I also will give props to their drummer. For any band with a comparable pace, there aren’t too many ways to shine, but he does have a respectable style. Still, it is only when Reverend Bizarre picks up the pace that he can truly shine. The bassist is not totally hiding either, just peeking his head out at appropriate times. He’s not bad either, but still, the only thing nearly as apparent as the slowness is the wasted potential here.
In the end, I feel bad for Reverend Bizarre. I can tell that doom metal is what they love, and all they wanted to do is play the music they loved. Respectable enough, but perhaps they’re forgetting why we keep remembering all the classic doom bands; they may have been slow, but they knew how to write songs and keep listeners engaged. Reverend Bizarre should have gotten that memo.
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